Innocence : A dark Captive Romance (Deviant House Book 1) Read online

  “I can say what I want,” she hissed, “Last I checked, it was a free country.”

  Freedom. Is that what she thought she had?

  “Freedom is merely an illusion.” I bent down, stealing a subtle sniff of her sweet scent, and softly growled in her ear, “True freedom belongs to the person holding the key to your cage.”

  Her brows pulled together as she stepped back and tipped her chin at me. “That makes no sense.”

  I lifted my hand, pulling my finger down the side of her face. Over the angles of her delicate cheekbones, and down to the soft skin under her bottom lip. A slow smile spread across my face when she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. Her teeth dug nervously in the supple flesh.

  “Don’t worry, Pet,” I dropped my arm and turned to leave, “you’ll understand soon enough.”

  Camouflage was as common a survival instinct as eating or breathing. Whether it was to set a trap for food, or to avoid becoming lunch, countless things in nature had this ability.

  Predators didn’t look in the background. They didn’t care about the person shuffling past. Being invisible was safe. Unfortunately, there were some places where that wasn’t an option.

  For me, that place was home.

  I couldn’t blend into the peeling yellow siding of our trailer, like the Mediterranean octopus did the coral bed of the ocean floor. A leopard hid in the tall grass to stalk its prey.

  The patches of grass scattered around our yard were browning, dry and brittle. And there was no rock for me to sit unnoticed on like the gray tree frog. Just an old cast iron bathtub and rusty transmission.

  I twisted my neck and looked up at the moon, highlighting a sky full of stars. Bright spots in the dark, twinkling as if they were alive.

  Could they sense the anxiety coursing through my veins? Did they know what would happen when I walked into our small trailer? Would that cloud of tobacco make them want to throw up too?

  My cheeks puffed as I prepared for the acrid scent of stale beer to fill my lungs, and pulled open the screen door. I cringed at the quiet creak that announced my arrival to the man sitting in the recliner, watching TV.

  “Where the fuck have you been?” Ralph rose from his seat and smashed his cigarette out, causing a few of the butts to trickle out of the overflowing ashtray.

  I watched one fall off the dirty coffee table, feeling my stomach drop heavily with it. Down it went, bouncing hard against the ground next to an empty beer bottle. The clover leaf logo on the label glittered in the lamp light. Taunting me with three unspoken words.

  Ralph’s been drinking.

  He swiped his hand on his dirty white shirt and stalked forward. “You’re over an hour late.”

  “Forty five minutes,” I muttered quietly.

  If he was drunk, it wouldn’t matter what I said.

  “Are you sassing me, girl?”

  I hung my head to avoid the foul spray of his breath. The combined stench of beer, cigarettes and peanuts made me want to retch. Mom was in the kitchen, humming, while she sat at the table scratching her game cards.

  There was no mistaking what was happening. Ralph loomed over my small frame, shoulders back, while his pot belly brushed against my arm. Just once, I wished Mom would care enough to step in. But she wouldn’t. She never did.

  Almost as if he could sense my need for the only parent I’d ever known, Ralph barked out, “Your mother’s been worried sick.”

  His words made me grimace. They were nothing more than a cruel fable spun by a wicked tongue. A lie that cut deeper than any physical wound.

  Mom wouldn’t worry about me. Angie was the daughter she wanted. I was the by-product of a regrettable relationship. That didn’t stop a twinge of guilt from tugging at my heart. Maybe this time she did worry?

  “I had a tutoring session.” Hopefully that would satisfy him. Tutoring meant money, and money meant more beer for him. “I made an extra twenty.”

  “Was it with that boy?” His lip lifted up in a snarl, baring his yellowing teeth.

  I swallowed the sense of dread rising in my gut and nodded.

  Normally, I didn’t accept tutoring jobs with boys. I had enough trouble without the ‘whore’ lectures, but when Blake McKinney asked, I couldn’t refuse. He wasn’t like the other jocks at school. Blake had never been anything but nice to me.

  Considering he was the star quarterback, he was the last person I’d expected to stop his friends from taunting me. It seemed wrong to deny him when he needed my help.

  “What else are you doing for him?” Ralph leaned back and sucked loudly on his teeth. “How’d you earn that tip, girl?”

  “I didn’t do anything. He just gave it to me,” I whispered, and ducked my head to hide the flush warming my cheeks.

  Blake McKinney was cute, and I wouldn’t deny him a kiss if he asked, but he wouldn’t. Everyone in Worthington knew who he was. I lived in a rundown two-bedroom trailer in the part of town the stray cats avoided.

  Once upon a time, we’d had a better place to call home, but then Mom met him. Ralph lost his job and she had to sell the house. Now he sat around drinking away most of the profits from the diner.

  “I won’t have any sluts in this house, Kya.”

  “Maybe you should stop trying to sneak in my bed at night then.”

  I don’t know what caused me to talk back. Maybe it was the frustration of knowing how pathetic I was, knowing that I’d always be that girl. The one people talked about years later, but whose name they didn’t remember. Because she wasn’t important or meaningful enough.

  Ralph’s warning glare rolled up to meet mine. Yet, my mouth kept moving.

  “I wonder what Mom would think about that?”

  Panic struck my chest as one word flew through my mind.

  Run.

  A heavy palm cracked off my cheek, twisting my neck and knocking me to the ground.

  “Be glad I’m here, girl,” Ralph spat down at me. “Who else would take care of your good for nothing mother?”

  I gritted my teeth and dug my fingers into the thin carpet. Take care of her. That was laughable. The only thing Ralph was good for was stinking up the room.

  “Ungrateful slut,” he grumbled and flopped back down in the recliner.

  Mom moved around the kitchen, singing a show tune. I blinked back my tears and watched her red heels click past the open doorway. Why couldn’t she care about me? Hold me tightly in her warm embrace, and tell me everything would be okay?

  I wouldn’t care if it was a lie. I’d take the illusion and live happily in that moment, pretending I was my sister. My beautiful, confident sister, Angie.

  But I wasn’t my sister. I was the incompetent girl that never did anything right. I couldn’t even make myself glare back at my stepfather. I just stayed on all fours, staring at the spots in the dirty brown carpet. Wishing I could sink into the fabric and become one of those unnoticed stains.

  “Get up,” Ralph said, while sparking up another cigarette. “I’m out of smokes.”

  That was his nice way of asking me to go to the store.

  Angie wouldn’t let him get away with this. She’d tell Ralph where to go and then yell at our mother for not doing anything.

  When Mom demanded she respect Ralph, my sister had left. She didn’t even think twice about leaving me alone. She simply grabbed a bag and walked out. I couldn’t blame her. I’d have left me too. The only thing I’d do is drag her down.

  “What are you waiting for?” Ralph leaned back and tipped a brow at me. “Get going.”

  There was no point in arguing. One way or another, Ralph would get his way. He always did.

  Pushing myself off the floor, I furiously wiped the tears off my cheeks. Despite how desperately I wanted to look back at Mom and search her brown eyes, I walked outside. I’d never get the one thing I wanted from her. Angie’s words from earlier that day came back as the cool night air hit my face.

  “Mom made her bed, she can lay in it. Don’t let her drag you
down with her.”

  I was one week away from turning eighteen, which was when Angie wanted me to leave. But I couldn’t do that. Family was the only truth in this world. It was a bond that should be respected.

  I couldn’t give up on Mom. Someone had to protect her. I may not be much, but I had a baseball bat I’d kept from little league. It came in handy, especially when Ralph tried to sneak in my room.

  “And get me a six of Lucky’s.”

  The guy that owned the Gas ‘N’ Go didn’t seem to care that I wasn’t legally old enough to buy alcohol. Benefits of living in a small town, I supposed. One chat with Mom and suddenly I was allowed to purchase Ralph’s beer.

  Tugging the sleeves of my sweater down over my palms, I let out a huff and headed down the street. At least I was out of the house for a bit. If I took my time, maybe Ralph would be passed out when I got back.

  If I took too long, Mom would wake him up and they’d come looking for me. Without a reasonable excuse, forty-five minutes was all I could get away with. I was already late once today, so my usual tales of detours wouldn’t suffice.

  Ralph awake and drunk was the number one cause of unwanted visits to my room. None of which had been successful for him, thus far. Thankfully.

  When it came to that piece of my soul, I’d never stop fighting him. My stepfather could beat me and say all the cruel things he wanted, but my innocence was the only pure thing I had. It was mine to give. No one would take it from me.

  Not like anyone would want to.

  Boys didn’t look at me that way. They didn’t look at me at all.

  But he saw me.

  My entire body shivered as I remembered the intensity of those ice blue eyes. The way he reached out and touched me. Grazed his fingers across my skin as if he had the right to. I didn’t back up. Didn’t turn my face away, or tell him to stop. I just stood there, with my heart beating in my chest.

  ‘Don’t worry, Pet, you’ll find out soon enough.’

  His words felt like a threat. I could feel him watching. Eyes in the corner of every shadow I passed. Like some monster from my childhood. His deep voice haunted my dreams, pulling me back to that day at the diner.

  I didn’t even know his name. Just the luxurious scent of his expensive suit. Yet, for the first time in my life, I felt seen.

  I didn’t like it. Didn’t like people looking at me at all. Not even the town stoners standing outside the Gas ‘N’ Go. The sign shining above them cast a red glow around their features, causing me to duck my head and quickly slip inside. They looked bored and I didn’t want to become their amusement.

  Ted the cashier’s smile widened, deepening the lines of age in his face, as a chime rang out overhead.

  “Hey Kya,” he sang, “What can I get you?”

  I liked Ted. He stuck to his own business, letting his customers make their purchases and leave without a million questions. Surprising for a man married to Flo. Then again, she did enough talking for the both of them.

  I dropped my elbows on the counter and sighed, “Ralph’s usual.”

  Ted shook his head, muttered something incoherent, and disappeared in the back.

  While Ted was busy finding a six of Lucky’s, I roamed the aisles, searching for the beef jerky I always got for Chester, the stray cat that lived in the alley behind the store.

  I tried to take him home once. That’s when I got accused of trying to kill Ralph. Apparently, he was allergic. Funny, considering Chester had been there for two days before anyone found out.

  So, I’d had to take him back to the alley. No one in town wanted a scruffy grey tabby with half an ear missing and attitude. I loved him though. He might not live with me, but Chester was still my pet.

  When he was hurt, I took him to the vet, and made sure he had something to eat every day. Even if it was a stick of beef jerky. He was my only friend, after all.

  How sad was that?

  After I paid for everything, I said goodbye to Ted and left. Headlights lit up the sky as I walked out and headed for the alley, excited to see Chester’s furry grey body.

  I squinted against the burst of light from a sleek black town car pulling up. A vehicle like that was too shiny and nice to belong to anyone from Worthington, which I lovingly referred to as the armpit of America.

  I didn’t pay much attention to it though. The store was a popular meeting spot for dealers, hence the two stoners still loitering. And that was a business I had no interest in getting involved with.

  Happy to leave them to their business, I ducked into the alley, looking for the crate under the flickering light by the back wall. That’s where I’d set a bed up for Chester. Just because he lived on the street didn’t mean he had to be uncomfortable.

  An enthusiastic Meow rolled up at me from a box behind the dumpster. My lips curled at the piece of wilted lettuce on the top of Chester’s head. He’d been dumpster diving again.

  That wouldn’t make for very pleasant smelling cuddles. I swear that cat tunneled his way through the piles of rancid garbage.

  “Hi Chester.” I bent down, flicked the lettuce off his fur, and scratched behind his scarred ear. “You hungry, buddy?”

  His response was to rub his furry body against my calves, as he weaved his way through my legs. My jeans were definitely going to need a wash. I could smell him from here.

  “Okay, okay,” I chuckled. Chester could sleep in a bed of fish guts and he’d still smell better than Ralph. “Here you go.”

  I sat on the ground and watched Chester eat, while running my fingers through his fur. When I’d first stumbled across him, he was skin and bones. There was barely enough meat to call the ball of fur a cat, and he was completely feral. Growling at me as he scarfed down his food so fast I thought he’d choke.

  We had an understanding now. I’d feed Chester, and in return he’d give me some affection. I just wished I could also give him shelter.

  Though I had to admit, the alley had its advantages. It was safe back here, tucked away from the cruelty of the world. Maybe I should move in with him? No one would look for me here, and we could share a sleeping bag.

  But then who would protect Mom?

  Blowing out a huff of air, I gave Chester one last pet and rose to my feet.

  His little head lifted up with a loud, “Meow.”

  “I know, but I have to go.” I held up the bag in my hand. “Ralph gets grumpy without his supplies.”

  Ralph was always grumpy, but without his beer and smokes he was downright mean.

  As if he could sense my apprehension, Chester’s back arched in Halloween cat pose and he released a loud hiss.

  “At least you have an alley to hide in,” I grumbled, and spun on my heels.

  My heart instantly flew up into my throat, lodging there with the words on the tip of my tongue. My nose was inches away from a broad chest. So close, I could feel the heat of another body warming my face.

  It was him. Diner asshole. No one in this town wore a suit, let alone one so perfectly tailored.

  “You shouldn’t wander around alone in alleys.” A deep voice reverberated through the alley, echoing around the dark space and drowning out Chester’s quiet hiss. “There’s no telling who will find you in the dark.”

  Part of me thought it was just my subconscious messing with me again. Imagining his piercing gaze following me when there was no one there.

  For days I’d felt him. Seen his face out of the corner of my eye, taunting me with a malicious smirk. The same one I was staring at now. Thick lips framed by a coating of dark stubble. Cruel and beautiful at the same time.

  I licked my lips and took a tentative step back. There was obviously a logical reason for him to be here. This was a store after all. Maybe he had to pick something up? My eyes fell down to his hands.

  No bag.

  “Are you lost or something?”

  “No,” he stated, following my lead and taking a long stride closer.

  There was that moment everyone had when face
d with a dangerous situation. Time slowed down and everything was heightened.

  The pulse of my fear collided with the leaky tap in the back of the Gas ‘N’ Go, thudding loudly in my head. Long drawn out ticks of the drops splatting on the asphalt.

  I tipped my chin over his shoulder. “The store’s over there.”

  “I know.”

  I shivered at the way his lips curled. Relax Kya, he’s probably just being a dick. That didn’t stop the shiver from shooting up my spine.

  “You better hurry. They close soon.”

  “Come now, Pet. Are you really going to pretend that you haven’t seen me watching you?”

  I couldn’t breathe. I wasn’t crazy. He was watching me. It took every ounce of my concentration to take another step back.

  “You should go. The owner smokes.” That was a lie. Ted was Worthington’s leading anti-smoking activist. “He’ll be out here any minute.”

  He stepped in, further crowding me with his large body, and leaned in. “I guess I’ll have to kill him then.”

  Turning my head away from his breath tickling off the shell of my ear, I glanced at the wall to my left. Ted was on the other side. If I screamed, he’d hear me.

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  As I rolled my eyes up to his, I wondered if he really would hurt Ted? What I saw in his icy stare told me that he would. Only predators had that glint in their eyes.

  “What do you want?” I asked, stumbling over a discarded bottle behind me.

  The clink the glass made rolling along the asphalt caused my heart to skip almost as much as his next words did.

  “Do you remember what I said about freedom?”

  ‘True freedom belongs to the person holding the keys to your cage.’

  Instinct took over. My hand flew up, swinging the bag and striking my assailant in the side. Cans sputtered, spraying us with a shower of beer that he ducked out of.

  That was my chance, and I took it. Bolted as fast as I could for the end of the alley. Dodging boxes and jumping over rubble.

  The well lit parking lot glowed with a beckoning embrace. Calling out, ‘It’s safe here. Come to me.’